This is being written just on impulse from another huge change that is going to be happening in my life very shorty here.
I am the kind of person to hold my true emotions and feelings in, as much as I consult in my friends and tell them basically every detail of whats been going on in my life, The only parts of the stories they’re missing is how I’m feeling, It’s partly because I don’t know how to express these inner thoughts and emotions into an outward source, but mainly because I don’t want someone to tell me how to deal with something, maybe in a way I am not comfortable in proceeding with.
The move here was great, such a positive thing in my life, but right now I am feeling very similar to the way I felt when I was still in Winnipeg.
Right now I am really hurting. It’s a mix of so many things, some smaller, some larger. One of the bigger ones being my dad leaving me again. I know it sounds terrible when I say it like that, but in all honesty, that’s the technical truth. It feels like as soon as I mend a relationship, get close with someone, or more so get attached they just bail. And they don’t know how seriously weak I am on the inside. I am really good at putting on a happy face and be able to still be comical relief over my own feelings, but it gets tough sometimes.
I have wonderful friends, people who support me and those idiots in my life that make it so much more interesting. There’s one person that I really wish was still as close to me as before, and although I wish it, chances are slim that that person would walk back into my life the way they were before. As sickning as the word is, it would be nice to have that comfort again.
